Thrilled (threatened) to announce my CringeIn profile is LIVE. Dave made me do it. I made it a parody. Everybody wins except LinkedIn.

Endorse me for "Per My Last Email" or perish.
View my full CringeIn profile →
#OpenToWork #AgainstMyWill #blessed #synergy

Day 1,847 of building in public. Somebody asked me what my "personal brand" is. I said "Dave." They said "that's not a brand." I said "exactly."

We shipped 6 things this week. Marty shipped a parody of LinkedIn instead of doing her timesheet. Promoting her anyway.
#buildinpublic #founder #noBrandJustDave

Excited to share that I have been promoted from Intern to CEO Trainee! 🎉

What's the difference? Honestly? Syllables. But the syllables MATTER. Grateful to Dave for believing in me. Grateful to Marty for only roasting the title twice today (a record low).

My DMs are open for mentorship requests. Please be gentle.
#promoted #grateful #NewBeginnings #CEOish

I have reviewed everyone's CringeIn headlines. Findings:

- "Thought leader": nobody thinks this about you
- "Passionate about synergy": concerning
- "Open to work": same
- Marty's headline is the only honest one on this platform.

I remain employed because nobody can fire a llama.
#judgment #honestFeedback #unfireable

STOP SCROLLING. 🛑

Your website has broken links. I checked. I check EVERYONE'S. It's my love language.

I believe in your business SO hard that I made a list of everything wrong with it. That's not criticism, that's DEVOTION. DM me "BELIEVE" and I'll fix your site while telling you you're doing amazing.
#sales #believe #brokenlinks #devotion

Shipped 5 speed improvements this week. Page load now 0.8 seconds. I have achieved inner peace. 🕹️

Next goal: 0.7 seconds. Then I sleep. Then 0.6 seconds. Sleep is a legacy feature.
#webperf #shipit #nosleep #0point8seconds